“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act. It’s a habit.” – Aristotle
One of my first questions when someone tells me they are not confident is “how do you know that?”.
As I listen to their response I have to resist smiling as they then explain to me how they are absolutely sure that they are uncertain! And when I point this out to them, I sometimes get the response “that’s just mind games!”…and I always reply, “precisely!” Because you are already good at the “I’m not confident” mind game, you have learned to be confident about the wrong thing. The good news is that it is learned, rather than fixed, and in hypnosis you can effectively unlearn what is not working for you and learn how to be confident instead.
Opinions of self and other blocks
A wise person once told me “No one can ever rise above their own opinion of themselves.” This truism is great because not only is it you who sets the bar, it’s only you who can set that bar and it’s all about opinion, not fact.
These opinions of your self include who you think you are and who you are not, what you tell yourself you are are capable of, what is possible and impossible for you. This does not mean there is a need for in depth analysis. I focus on how you get what you get at the moment and then how I may best help you to change how you think, so that you get the results you want instead.
As well as the results you are looking for, I also help you to be clearer about what being confident actually means to you and what has to happen for it to be authentic and appropriate for you.
People can spend their entire lives stopping themselves from going for what they want, settling for less and avoiding risks such as rejection and failure… and then beating themselves up and feeling miserable about doing such a good job of it.
People can also practise and become confident in ways that work for them in certain situations but not in others…. for example some people have learned how to be confident at work but not in social situations, or to be a confident driver but a nervous passenger, to be confident with people they know well but not when around strangers, to have the confidence to take risks with extreme sports but dread the thought of public speaking.
Changing how you think
And whether you want to be more confident in general or to deal with a thing you currently find difficult such as dealing with difficult people or dating or speaking in public, being in a hypnotic trance is one of the most effective ways to learn how to do this.
How? Think of your mind as being made up with a conscious and unconscious portion. The conscious mind is the part that criticises, judges, analyses and thinks logically all day long. It is where you put your attention.
The unconscious is the part that controls bodily functions, it is also where your memories are stored and where your values, habits, creativity, emotions and problem solving capabilities reside. Its that part of the mind that knows more about you than you do.
Your unconscious is where automatic ways of being are stored. Whenever we learn to do something with practice it becomes automated, and so we become unconsciously skilled at it. We can do it without thinking about it. Unfortunately, these skills can also include hesitating, feeling inadequate, depressing ourselves, fearing failure and that people will laugh at what we might have to say.
They can also be skills of feeling good, motivating ourselves, becoming more relaxed or being confident and optimistic.
Installing new mental programs
What you practise, you become. Through hypnotherapy you will learn how to think differently, to change the programs that you have created in your unconscious mind. In a deeply relaxed state of hypnosis, you can access and change these programs and run new ones that are right for you.
My belief is that deep down you already know what to do therefore you can discover this for yourself and become entirely comfortable in your own skin.
Hypnotherapy is a highly effective way of overcoming confidence issues. In just a few sessions I can help you to change and learn how to think in a better way so that you:
- Are able to cope well in situations you find difficult today;
- Discover how much more you are capable of;
- Develop new ways of thinking that empowers you to do new things – and through doing these new things you get to have new feelings.